BETA Day

I woke up early for my Dr. appointment this morning. Did another HPT test, and again stark white. So I kind of knowing what my result will be today.

I kissed Kevin before walked out the door. Drove to the hospital and surprisingly I feel okay. I still have slight hope, wishing that probably the embryos are the late implanters. But I am ready for the word 'you're not pregnant'.

The blood draw very quick. Only took few minutes and I went to work. It pretty easy day with most of my jobs done fast than I thought. When you have time in your hand, so does your brain. At lunch I went out with Reggie, my buddy from work. She such a nice lady, always there for me. She is a good listener, and surprisingly understand and care about my situation. Not that my other friends not care. Everybody care in different ways, and I appreciate that.

I called the Austin office few times checking about the result. Finally, at 2:30pm they said the word that I think I already knew "You're BETA is less than 5". I feel okay, very calm as I expect that. Sometimes I surprised myself that actually I can handle things and news that I would think I could not. In my heart, I am thankful for whatever Allah decisions. Whether it a success or a fail, Allah know best. What we can do just keep trying and hopefully one day Allah will granted our dreams, InsyaAllah.