04/04/2012
Today is our 9th anniversary. Both of us so excited to do the transfer. We went to the clinic around 8am for my acupuncture. The healing center is amazing. Beautiful facility and decorations. The waiting time very quick. I don't have to wait long when a Chinese lady called me in. She immediately do her work, poke me with needles. Took about 45 minutes and they took me to OR.
The nurse super sweet, she told me that we need full bladder for the transfer. She said I may have to wait 45 minutes. Kevin came in to be with for the process. Do you know when you always have this kind of feeling? That something is not right? I always like that. For me I am a positive person, but always worry along the line.
When the RE came in, he briefed us about the 5 embryos. He said all of them 1 day behind! I was like...I knew it...as always there will something. As always, why it so hard for us. He assure us that the embryos still looks good just slow in growing. Yeah right....they sure don't want you feel negative, so they probably sugar coat everything.
Funny I don't feel really upset...I just feel numb. It just like...okay, another obstacles. May be it meant that we will not having kid if this so difficult. But why bother, hurry up and stick that embryos inside me and get over it.
It was weird because when I read other girls blog, they have embryologist explain before the transfer about the embryos but only my Doctor in there to explain it to me. And after the transfer, they asked me to stay on bed for 30 minutes before I can go back to the hotel. The nurse came in and showed me the pictures of the embryos. Honestly? If you asked my opinion? The don't even look like what I saw on internet. We put back 3 out of 5. The Dr. said 1 looks good, 1 okay and another one so so...hmmmm....the so so like a dying one. The good one doesn't look round. I asked if he can give his opinion, he seems rushing and said, they don't really want to rely on grades, for him sometimes bad looking eggs makes baby. But what worry me, he is not being honest that my embryos probably is in stage of 'arresting'...means dying. Not slow. But oh well, he is the Dr.
As usual, after back to the hotel, I kept comparing our embryos pictures online, I found out that the embryos probably about early Morulas, looks okay to me, but I still feel it won work. I have that feeling, I will see that 'negative pregnancy test' over and over again.
Kevin tried to reassure me to relax and think positive. How could I? We failed so many times. But miracles can happen.
04/05/2012
We checked out early and drove to Warwick, Rhode Island for our returning flight. It was an easy drive, feel this trip taking so long....I feel restless, I cannot wait to be back on my routine.
We checked out at Radisson hotel close to the airport, it very nice hotel. We really impress. Since we did not celebrate our wedding anniversary yesterday, we decided to have a nice dinner. So I look around for a great seafood restaurants. I told Kevin that since we're close to the ocean, it must be good seafood also which very hard to find in US. Finally I found one, it just next door to the hotel! It is Legal Seafood. I ordered lobster, mussels and bunch of other thing. Kevin ordered fish and chips. When the order arrived, my eyes almost popped out! The lobster huge, full intact! You rarely see that in US! So you can tell how excited I am. All the times when I ordered lobster, it will be just the little tail. But this time I cannot wait to eat every part of it (of course not the head)....haha. Even I want to, I don't want to make myself look weird in that classy restaurant..hehe. Both of us enjoyed our food tremendously. It cost us almost $80.00 but it's worth it.
We did not do much after that, went back to the hotel and just rest.
04/06/2012
I ordered nice breakfast for Kevin and I to the room. Feel that we pamper ourselves, which I don't mind. We have not having nice vacation for a long time. It really feel we spend so much time together and I still feel the same way as I feel when the first day I met my husband. It really easy to forget all those when you already married after 9 years, but Kevin always a good husband, loving and care.
We asked for late check out and they allow us to stay until 3pm. Our flight not until 6:15pm that evening. We had connecting flight in Atlanta. But from Atlanta to Austin, I felt restless, and cannot wait for us to arrive, it only for 2 hours, but felt like 10 hours! I feel so happy to be home, it's true when people say, home sweet home :)
sis, glad for the lobster! lol. Other thing, only God knows :)
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