Recap

For a long time I wanted to do a blog about our struggle to infertility journey.

We're married over 9 years, not trying not preventing about 5 years. The last 15 months we timed our baby dancing (BD), 6 cycles of Clomid, 3 failed IUIs and now towards our first IVF.

I am nervous, excited and scared. Not sure what we expect. I purchased 3 cycles IVF packages just in case our first try not successful.

This year really a tough year for me. I never though it will be so hard for us. In a month I will be 40, and I get scared that I will not be able to have my own children. There is a space in my heart that empty. I am grateful and fortunate to have a loving husband that always on my side and very supportive.

I have many friends gets pregnant this month. Some not even trying, some through IVF. I am happy for them. But for those who not trying they really don't understand what I went or going through. It hard to talk to them because they never been 'there'. But as a friend, you need to listen to them talking about their pregnancy, talking about their symptoms, asking you to accompany them to shop with them because they cannot fit in their pant or shirt anymore.

I pray and hope one day I will be a mom.